Give Me a Break
David Mullins
Now that I am no longer coaching on a regular basis I am not around competitive tennis tournaments as much as I once was. However, in recent weeks I spent a significant portion of my days viewing a men’s and ladies futures event, a Junior National Championship and competed in a Men’s Open money tournament myself.
I observed a lot of really good tennis but also some ludicrous behavior that does little to help these players or the sport of tennis. There appear to be certain behaviors that are embedded in our consciousness and culture at high level junior, college and professional tennis in every part of the world, that we don’t seem to question, and accept as the norm despite there absurdity.
I would love to say I wasn’t guilty of conforming to many of these cultural norms, but I will hold my hand up and say I was every bit as ridiculous at times. Here are a few examples:
1. Having a sarcastic response to when the crowd applaud a mistake due to the fact that they are supporting one player more than another
The player on the receiving end of a partisan crowd will usually clap their racket and say something along the lines of “That was a really great shot I hit in the net, yeah well done, keep clapping”.
2. Acting like you are a tough guy
I always get a kick out of tennis players acting like they are tough and up for a fight if their opponent says “C’mon!” at the wrong time or gives them the fist pump and stare down. Message to all tennis players:You chose to play a non-contact sport for a reason. You want no part of physical contact so stop pretending like you are tough!
3. Responding with wide open arms
Responding with wide open arms like you are measuring an elephant’s trunk and saying “It was this far out” when your opponent questions a call that was 6.7 millimeters out.
4. Saying “The score was closer than it looks”.
You just lost 6/1 6/0, the score was not closer than it looked, the score is the score. You got one game, it is okay to say you got your butt kicked, and that your opponent was much better than you. Just because eight of the games went to deuce, and you had three breakpoints does not mean it was a close affair. Your opponent was the better player on all the points that mattered most, and for all you know, the games that went to deuce were because of your opponent’s boredom and inability to stay focused as they were winning so easily.
5. Stop saying you have the worst forehand ever or some other version of this serve/footwork/volley
If you are playing at a high level, such as a national tournament or futures event, your ratio of made forehands to missed forehands is probably quite favorable towards the made column. You are going to miss a few forehands, get over it, it doesn’t mean you have the worst forehand ever, and no one is going to take pity on you, especially the 2.0 player sitting in the stand wishing they could hit a tennis ball like you!
6. Lastly, can we PLEASE stop taking bathroom breaks after we lose the first set? (Unless we REALLY need to go to the bathroom)
Coaches and parents; kindly stop encouraging this asinine practice. Every player I see now takes a bathroom break once they lose the first set because some “coach” told them this helps break their opponent’s momentum, and gives you time to regroup and gather your thoughts.
And maybe this ploy actually worked once, or at least you think it did, and the coach felt validated by giving this brilliant piece of advice. So now the player does it every single time, not recognizing that they are going to win or lose the second set regardless of whether they take this ingenious bathroom break tactic or not. Isn’t this basically encouraging kids to cheat and take a break when they don’t really need to go to the bathroom?
Aren’t you promoting the fact that they are not capable of gathering their thoughts in a two-minute changeover and need an extra minute of a bathroom break to take their 10 deep breaths? Well Dave, the pros sometimes do it.Well you are not a pro and just because they do it doesn’t mean it is the right thing to do. Learn to handle losing the first set in the allotted time and don’t succumb to what everyone else is doing, I assure you they are not getting the upper hand!
Good grief, I need a bathroom break now just to cool off from this rant!
I encourage all tennis players to increase their consciousness around these responses to adversity on the tennis court, and understand what is helping them play better, and what is hurting their chances at playing their best.
Your self-talk matters, I don’t believe like many, that it always has to be positive in the heat of competition.
I believe that it has to be determined. I can be hard on myself in a way that takes energy away from my game and distracts me from my goal, or I can be hard on myself in way that refocuses me and makes me demand more from myself mentally and physically. They bring about two very different states of being.
It is incredibly difficult to change your thoughts or behaviors if you are not aware of what you are doing. By just copying others or surrendering to the same patterns you have always followed you are doing little to nothing to improve your mental game. Which of these scenarios above that I have listed are you guilty of conforming too?
Can you just start with these actions and become aware of when you are acting out in these ways; try to stop them and divert your attention back to the thought patterns and actions that will in fact help you play better. Maybe you can make your own list of behaviors that you believe are not helping you perform at a high level, and start working on them one by one to eliminate from your game.
If you want to stand out to college coaches, or are already playing on a college team, this is one sure way to separate yourself from the competition. Coaches want to recruit and coach mature competitors, not toddlers that throw their toys out of the crib when things are not going their way.
Increase your self-awareness and in turn you will become a more resilient competitor and person. I have found reading about mindfulness, practicing meditation and writing in a journal the best ways to increase my awareness around my thoughts on and off the court. Learn to control your mind or it will most definitely control you!
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I agree with all points, except point 6.
Basically what’s wrong with a bathroom break taken after a player lost a set?
It do can change the path of the match if it is changeable (I mean if opponents are quite close). It is NOT connected with “opponent’s momentum”, it is connected with a player’s own mental stance.
For some players it works, for some players not, but if it works for YOUR player, why not to use it (specially if pros do).
For sure, it can be annoying when the opponent has a toilet break of 10-15 minutes just to make your player nervous. These tricks are not good. But if we speak about a couple of minutes just “to leave bad set in the bathroom” – why not?
Hi Anton,
Thanks for your response. I understand the reasons why kids do this and coaches encourage kids to this. I acknowledge that there may be some value in it for certain kids. Ethically, I just cannot agree with it. I interpret the “Toilet Break” rule as just that, a toilet break. I don’t believe that it should be used to take an extra rest, deal with an injury, create more mental space or for any reason other than having to actually go to the toilet. By encouraging players to do this, I believe that we are telling them it is okay to break this rule. How do we tell them that this rule is okay to break, but that others are not, and still have any credibility with them?
Most players that grow up in the western world that are privileged enough to play tennis probably have faced very little adversity in their lives. Sports is one ways we can place kids in “adverse” conditions and have them figure out ways to work through a challenging task. I believe we should be encouraging kids to stay on the court, deal with the issues at hand and look to create that mental space they need after a bad set on the tennis court, in the allotted time, and not look outside the rules for this.
Thanks again for reading Anton, and always happy to hear further thoughts on the matter so I can see if I am missing something.
Thanks for your answer, Dave. I really respect your opinion, though I still disagree with it :).
As a parent of a young pro player, I believe that ethics means a lot for tennis as it makes our sports healthier – to benefit all parties including players, coaches, parents, officials, umpires etc.
Meanwhile, it is not a big secret that tennis is a mental game. We all know how Rafa Nadal locate his bottles on court, does not step on lines etc. From Sharapova to Djokovic, from Murrey to Muguruza – most of players use rituals, mental technics, NLP triggers to make their game more effective.
You admitted this in your article… so why do you think it is not good, not ethic? Are the most respected guys in our sport like Roger or Rafa are cheaters?
There is a very simple explanation of a toilet break… which you can find in any tennis rulebook. The official name of it is “Toilet/Change of Attire Break”. So it is completely legal & ethical to take this type of break not only for toilet needs, but to change your t-shirt as well.
And you can use it for the good of your player, without making something bad for the opponent & or game – just like great pros do. “Change your t-shirt. Remove all doubts & bad feelings from the first set – with that t-shirt. Wear on a new, fresh one. Now you have new t-shirt, new set, 0:0, and everything is still open. Go and do your job!” Something like that.
I actually do not understand what’s wrong with this. My player currently performs on Challengers level, and it is quite common to have a break after the 1st set.
So why to teach kids NOT to use a bathroom break, if they can use it and this is not a violation of any rules, official or ethical? It is just like to teach kids not to play high top spins cause somebody can call them “moonballers”.
If it works (surely in certain conditions) and is NOT prohibited, written on non-written – use it to win your game.
Hi Anton,
That is great to hear about your son’s success. I will definitely be on the look out for him. I guess we are not going to agree on the interpretation of the rule, so lets set that aside for now 🙂 … I do actually agree with you that it could be beneficial for a tennis player to take this break. The point that I am trying to get across to young tennis players is that they should learn and develop the skills on the court to deal with their struggles rather than looking for an escape plan, even if it is just temporary escape! Any chance we can get for our kids to build resilience and force them into difficult situations (I say the word difficult lightly) then we should be encouraging them to do so, and have them work through this adversity in way that will build some resilience. Yes, I believe whole heartedly in players developing routines in between points and on the changeovers, I just don’t believe one of those should be a bathroom break after the first set. The routines that you bring up do not fall in to the ethically shady area, they are all well above board and perfectly legal. I literally saw every junior player take this bathroom break during the national championships and had to express my frustration with it !!! I mention in the article that sometimes the pros do this, but these kids are not pros, playing for their livelihoods or learning the nuances or toughness required to playing the sport at the highest level – they have already figured that out. Instead the audience I am trying to speak to are kids trying to learn the game and hopefully many life skills along the way. Thanks again for reading and debating this!
How to become a better player.
The lost art of sportsmanship….It’s what all of this boils down to. It starts in jrs and when we don’t teach the kids that you want to win but not at all cost it spirals downhill. Tennis needs to return to more of the spectators cheering for both players and the sport overall. Granted it is a high level skill to wish an opponent success but if Roger and Rafa can do it so can everyone else.
I also think college tennis does a diservice to the game when they behave like that. I believer you can have a great team atmosphere but not at the expense of someone else.
Hi Mary,
Thanks for your thoughts. I agree about the sportsmanship. Other than these bathroom breaks I thought the spirit in which I witnessed the competition being played was actually relatively positive compared to college tennis. However, college tennis is a different deal altogether and the lack of sportsmanship is concerning to me. I know this is something the leadership at the ITA is trying to address but ultimately coaches need to take more responsibility for their actions and stop encouraging players to scream and yell, turn a blind eye when their players cheat, and set poor examples by fighting with the referees on a consistent basis. Right now it is a race to the bottom, but I believe it will change as coaches start to understand that none of these actions actually help their players play any better, and that at some point you can’t scream as much as the other team so you might as well try a different tactic!! That is my hope anyway.