Playing Your ‘Super Star’ Kid Up an Age Group – Good or Bad?
The post by Allistair McCaw
Here’s one area that comes up quite a bit in my field. It’s a question I get asked especially from the parents of ‘star’ kids. This usually comes from parents of kids around the ages of 9-12 years.
“Should my child play up an age group?”
I see it all too often in a variety of sports, the moment the kid starts out performing the others, that’s when the parent wants them to play up a higher age group.
So let me give you my thoughts on this subject. For me, the answer will always involve getting back to basics and what the development plan requires. When I talk about the development plan, I’m referring to LTAD (Long Term Athlete Development).
In most cases, kids that are the best in the age groups of 14 and under are the kids that have played the actual sport more hours than the rest. If they’re tennis players, then they’ve hit more balls, done more drills. If they’re soccer players then they’ve kicked more balls and likewise, done more drills.
Never place winning over development
The problem that occurs when a kid plays up, isn’t only that they will feel more physical and emotional pressure, (and possibly get beat more), but most importantly when playing ahead of their age classification, they often skip the process and stages of improving their overall development (athletic and technical skills).
Simply put, in the long term, the better the athlete is, the better the player will be. So if you skip the important stages of a child’s athletic development (fundamentals, motor skills, games etc..) you jeopardize the chances of their sporting success later.
One familiar pattern I’ve seen in parents that are adamant in playing their kids up an age group, is that they feel their child is too good for the rest and will feel less pressure, simply because they ‘have nothing to lose’ playing older kids. That child was so used to always winning against their own age group.
Now, don’t misunderstand me here, losing is an important part of a child’s social and sports development, and they need to learn how to handle the defeats. But the detrimental thing is that the focus has changed from fun (the reason they started playing) and development to pure winning (results).
What commonly happens is that parents lose track of what is most important (the development) and chase the results instead. With those results come the lure of rankings, funding etc.. (not to forget the bragging rights of having a ‘talented kid’ that is better than the others kids in their age group).
Is there an exception to the rule? In my 20 odd years of sports performance coaching, I have maybe seen it no more than two times! The child was top of his age group AND athletically advanced beyond his age group, that’s when it was an option. But all too often parents just see the results (winning) and think their kid can be played up.
Development is a process that shouldn’t be rushed
Players develop at their own pace, and trying to accelerate that pace artificially can actually hurt their growth.
Stop comparing. Too often, I have parents coming to me and saying that they feel their kid should be pushed harder or challenged more (the pushy over-zealous parent). What I tell them is to stay focused on what matters most for their child (enjoyment, athletic and skill development) plus focus on their child, not the others.
There’s nothing sadder than seeing a child’s love for a sport being taken away from a parent who was chasing fame and success. The psychological scares can still be there for years and years after.
Decide together (you and your child) what level is going to help them develop and ask them where they want to play. Odds are they’ll be best served by playing with their own age group, socially and athletically.
Remember that it is not about you, it is about the kid
Parents, if you want the best 12 year old, then fine. It’s pretty easy: Go compete as much as possible, play them up, hit balls (or kick) all day and do drills. Chances that that kid still loves and wants to play sport at age 18? Substantially less.
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Great insight, parents need to understand that they love to Compare. While failing to understand that kids love to Compete. So when one considers all the facts parents even go as far as excluding “playing” with kids that are not at the perceived level of their kids, while failing to understand that in order for the kids to have long term success they need to:
1) Love the game
2) Have fun at it
3) Be and play loose ( translation no pressure)
NO, having lots of pressure and handling it does not make the kid better, it makes the fun be taken away and that only increases the odds of them leaving the sport.
If it is not fun, don’t play. Parents is what you are doing making it fun? if its not, you are not increasing the chances of them playing long term.
Simply as that.
Interesting read but from my experience if a player is playing their age group and their winning percentage is above 80% then that player is not being challenged enough so therefore I feel justified in letting them play up when appropriate. I feel the player needs to win between 65% and 75% of their matches each year. I keep statistics of matches and also limits on the number of matches my players compete in monthly.
I am not sure how I feel about this. My child is 13, and plays both, 14’s and sometimes, 16’s. She likes the mental game of the 16’s and the pace. She thinks it takes her to a new level and she likes that. Sometimes she asks to play 16’s over 14’s. She wins plenty in both and loses plenty in both. She hits with the 16’s in her clinics, so tournaments are not that different for her. I sometimes get frustrated with this site because it oftens paints a negative light for parents. Most of us, with some exceptions, just want out kid to have fun and do their best. Of course we want them to see success – they work too hard to fail more than they succeed, so we look for ways to help them do that. I am not a crazy parent, I just love my daughter and hope to provide her with opportunities to do her best and see some reward for it. I work hard to figure out how that should look and sometimes I am right, sometimes I am wrong. I listen to her coaches and always default to their judgement. I do not pretend to know more and am weary of constantly reading on this site negatives about parents who are just doing their best to help their child. I know that her success is her success and her failures (which I see as learning opportunities) are hers to own as well. Do I compare, sure I do. I am human. It would be a lie to say I don’t. Somehow, I do not think that makes me rob my child of her joy for the sport.